Full Moon Offering ♈️ Vulnerability
Music and Tarot Spreads for the Moon Moment
This Full Moon I am feeling the tug of Pluto.
Pluto is entering his chaotic final chapter in the sign of Capricorn for our lifetimes. He entered Capricorn in 2008, the year I graduated from High School. To see this phase of life, from the end of childhood to the beginning of motherhood, encapsulated in Pluto in Capricorn is somewhat wild. I also had a brain tumor removed from my head days before Pluto stationed direct at the beginning of this month, a major letting go, removal, ending, chapter to fall in such a powerful transition and transit.
I also sit in the resting and healing with a deep restlessness towards my offerings. What am I offering? What is my guiding star for this phase of my life? I am a mother, and a wife, and an artist, and a writer, and a priestess, and a dancer, and a dreamer. And I find these labels aren’t quite the right fit. In some ways I let go to knowing how it all falls together in this year of pausing and healing and calibrating. I let go to knowing until Pluto begins anew in Aquarius on November 17th.
From Moon Omens Pluto Retrograde in Capricorn: Collective Reckoning I found these prompts:
Pluto asks us difficult questions.
How do we relate to the feeling of having no control?
How do we relate to loss, death, and impermanence?
Do we resist evolution or embrace it?
What do we fear the most?
And what desires of ours scare us, and why?
Going under anesthesia for several hours to have a hole drilled through my skull and my brain pushed aside so an unwelcome guest of a tumor could be removed had me asking these very questions for months, weeks, and then days with increasing intensity. I knew with logic that I was in the best possible care and that these were good outcomes- to know about the tumor so early; to have access to some of the best brain surgeons in the country; to have health coverage. And yet I was afraid of worst possible situations like having a stroke, or the tumor being malignant. I type to you now in gratitude and in the afterschock of everything going as well as it can and the tumor being benign. My worst fears of never seeing my son and husband in this plane of existence in this moment did not come to pass.
I found the experience of giving over my safety and well being to a surgical team incredibly painful. The two weeks leading up to the surgery I had a headache that would not go away. I feared the tumor had grown massive in my head, and when they cut me open and exposed it would not be a simple extraction. The relief when I awoke and heard all was as well as it could be was immense. As immense as hearing my son scream his first breaths and having him placed briefly on my chest before being whisked away to the NICU. With this hurdle behind me I feel the rushing desire to - what? I cannot quite find the words for it. To build more beautiful worlds. To step into the brightest timeline. And I have yet to find my feet on the clear path of these desires and that also fills me with fear.
In the light of this Aries Full Moon I feel vulnerable.
Vulnerable sharing my brain surgery journey with you, dear reader of the internet, who may be friend or stranger. Vulnerable in this liminal state where I have not picked up the threads of what my next project or creation may be. Vulnerable in not knowing my offerings at this time with clarity. Vulnerable in needing to still be resting and healing as my brain sorts out all the mess and movement. Vulnerability sits well with me in the sign of Aries, as the genesis of the Zodiac.
For years I made playlists and oracle spreads for my patrons on Patreon. I have compiled all of my Aries Full Moon playlists into one prime playlist on Spotify and you can find the original posts below if you are curious about the previous years of inspiration. I want to share them here as a possible offering, along with the Oracle Spread I am using under the light of this Moon to guide my own learnings and understandings.
Aries Full Moon Prime Playlist
Aries Full Moon Oracle Spread
Today’s Full Moon arrives in the sign of Aries, the Ram. Known for initiating movement & taking risks, Aries energy amplifies the action catalyzed by Pluto, Mars, and Chiron.
RATTLE Like a snake, what is shaking, warning, and stirring inside you?
STRIKE Like a match, what is lighting you up and guiding your way?
OFFER Like a diamond, what is crystal clear as your truth?
Use these prompts with your favorite oracle or tarot deck, simply journal to the prompts, or let them move through your body as you listen to the music above. This offering is for you to take or leave as you please.
I used the Circle of Doors Tarot created by Anne Staveley and Jill Sutherland with the guide written by Brian Duffy.
RATTLE Like a snake, what is shaking, warning, and stirring inside you?
The weekend before my surgery I slept in the hills of my friends property to practice being away from my son. It was the first night we had spent apart since returning home from the hospital 14 months earlier. As my friends and I ventured into the star-filled night we startled a rattlesnake. We didn’t see it, but heard the clear call of its rattle in the darkness, each of us springing away from the sound. We chose to stay closer to the house than we had originally planned after the scare. It felt like an omen. Pay attention! Initiation is about to occur.
Four of Cups - BENEVOLENCE
This card asks for attention to the constant push and pull of people from stranger to friendship to stranger again. Or friendship to lover to stranger. Or friendship to family. and so on. I have needed a lot of help the past few weeks while I recover. And I continue to need support. And I am watching and stirring around who shows up and who knows and who has stayed away. It has me curious and cautious and hopeful about love and the future. I’m also called to remember the relational energy of this season, with Libra and Aries, as the veil thins and Samhain approaches.
And last I notice the Calla Lilies around the woman’s body. I recently meditated on the Archetype of the Seer, aligning those energies with the magickal language of Calla Lily, a flower for visions and seekings. From New Moon to Full Moon I find this too moves my heart from fear to hope.
STRIKE Like a match, what is lighting you up and guiding your way?
Once the relief of waking had settled I found a small spark of a new prospect asking for my attention. This idea, this constellation of skills and dreams and happenings, has kept me curious and is currently guiding me back towards my health. It may come to nothing, as my energy levels have kept me from truly pursuing any new interests. I remind myself that this is a time for healing, and yet in the pause things are ripening and fomenting and the mystery will unravel into guidance eventually.
XIX - SUN
“Claim your birthright to joy.” Joy is a light in the dark. When I feel joy in my body that is a pathway. Becoming a mother has reshaped the pathways of Joy inside me, like a great flood remapping the rivers of my receiving. Paths that once lead to pleasure and peace have dried up. New rivulets and streams appear and surprise me. I am in a time of rediscovering what matters and what lights me up and what from my maidenhood is worth rekindling in this new place I find myself in.
Over on my Patreon I am diving back into the meditations of my Beauty Oracle and the card for October is Weaving Wonder. The card is focused on following wonderment to your guiding star. As I dove back in today with the Moon adding its special flare I was pleasantly surprised to feel that river of Joy still flowed around this project and these writings. I am reminded that this too is worthy of my time and attention, and I recommit to the Joy of sharing the Beauty Oracle with the world.
OFFER Like a diamond, what is crystal clear as your truth?
In some ways, everything in my life has felt on hold since April and the reality of needing brain surgery settled into my being. Writing this post and looking back I realized I am reflecting on the event of the surgery at the Aries Full Moon, a mirror to the Aries season when I talked with the surgeon and set the dates. How strange. How rhythmic and wonderful?
Seven of Cups - FANTASY
I love when you draw a card that simply restates the question. The cards in this deck each come with an affirmation, and “I dedicate my life to truly knowing myself” is part of the affirmation of this card. It would be too simple to have the crystal clear truth of my heart of hearts revealed with a card draw. The work and the play of this post-surgery-with-a-one-year-old-at-home season is in finding my offerings and no tarot or oracle or trick of divination will reveal what I likely already know. My hope is this writing is part of that truth and that something in this crystallizes towards growth and meaning.
October's card for the Beauty Oracle Deck is Weave Wonder
The Full Moon today has been buzzing and bristling. Resting and recuperating is oddly difficult. I don't enjoy sitting idle now that I am through the fog of pain and sleep that followed the first week of post operation. And yet I can tell that my brain is still sorting out the trauma and disturbance as fatigue sets in all of sudden after chasing Arlo around the house, or being on my feet doing tasks, or going to dance class or on a long walk. The docs said it could easily take up to two months to feel my energy back and my patience is being tested. However, this all feels in alignment with my card of the year, Eight of Swords- PAUSE. Everything feels on pause while I heal.
Thankfully, I wrote and printed this month's zine back in May. A little bit of foresight paying off for all of you dear patrons so I don't miss a month of sharing Beauty Magick with you. With all this time sitting and resting and healing I have been thinking a lot about what I value and the worlds I want to be building and weaving into reality. This Beauty Oracle is part of that value system and world building. Wonder is a vital ingredient.
The Magick - An Invitation to Share in Wonderment, An Invitation to Become a Guiding Star.
Later this month I will release a monthly update and digital goodies with one of the spells from the Zine for my Khindness Patrons.
Magickal Mail club will also receive the 17 Weave Wonder sticker card,
and Zine Club will also receive the Book of Mirrors Zine that will accompany the sticker card.
I'm looking forward to weaving and wondering and sharing and offering with the magick of this card and zine for the rest of October. Be well and Blessed 🌕 ~Khiri